I’ve never been more scared and excited about the same thing ever. I finally get to see the man I care so much about very soon…… I don’t even know what I’m going to do with myself! Gahh!! I hope this is it.
What is the point in cheating? People obviously cheat because they aren’t happy with the relationship they are in. Why not just have the courage to end that relationship rather than be a coward and cheat. What is the true price people pay for happiness? Why are we all so cowardly. When are people going to open up and be themselves for a damn change.
I’ve never felt this weak in all my days. All I can do is cry and think about all the things going wrong in my life. I’m trying so hard to be strong for my baby but I can’t seem to find a way to lift myself up out of this mess.
A car. A Subaru hatchback preferably but I’ll settle for anything that runs properly. So I can take my daughter and myself on road trips to places we’ve never been. And so I can work my ass off to make my dreams come true.
A better job. Or jobs….I am starting to dislike my barista job mainly because of the shop I work at, but I do however love being a barista, if that makes sense. Also, I wish I could do more with my job at the magazine….. I feel like my boss there is doing so many things and has so many projects going on that there is little that I can actually do other than what I do which is write the events and put them online. Dream job? Probably working my way up in a really cool restaurant that focuses on fresh healthy foods and maybe some good ole craft beer. Maybe one day. Culinary school is on my list for sure. I need to make that happen.
Lastly, a Partner. I want someone I can lean on an confide in…. Someone to share my life with through good times and bad. This lonely life is not for me anymore….. But I won’t settle for anyone just because I loathe being alone. I am wondering what kind of plans god has in store for me… I hope he finds me a good man who won’t let me down like so many others have. I need a strong man who knows how to carry this big heart of mine. That would be nice. Yep, this is what I want.